Credit: Howard Wise/JPI (6)
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If you’re a regular reader of Soaps.com, you’re no doubt aware of our feelings about The Young and the Restless’ business storylines. But there is a way to salvage the mess of musical CEOs and characters who are more interested in perusing spreadsheets than tangling up bedsheets: Go ahead and confirm our fears about all of our own bosses by introducing an actual employee.
We’re not talking about an Executive in Charge of Vague Decision-Making, either, or a new Vice-President of Meetings Held at That One Spot in Chancellor Park. We’re talking about a rank-and-file lowercase-E employee. Somebody with a cubicle instead of a corner office. Somebody who has to put in for vacation rather than just take off on the private jet. Somebody who wouldn’t have sex on the furniture at work because all they have is a chair on wheels.
Through this character — let’s call her Laura — we could at least laugh at the horrifying realization that OMG, The Young and the Restless’ business storylines are actually super realistic. Not just our bosses but apparently all bosses are just that clueless and cavalier about how their whims impact the lives of the little people whose hard work makes it possible for them to sleep on a mattress stuffed with $100 bills.
Funny Business
We’ve all been there, right, wondering how much time a company has wasted on brainstorming a new color for its logo or switching over to a new email server when, for Pete’s sake, we just wanna do our dang jobs. Now, instead of facepalm and ask, “Who on earth thinks this is a good idea?!?” we’ll get to chuckle at the answer as Laura sees it unfold firsthand.
Imagine it. Every day, Laura shows up at her desk and opens her email with dread, waiting to see whether the company has changed names again, or whether her boss has another new boss, or whether a decision has come from on high that everyone must wear stilettos on Fridays in order to improve morale. Yes, even the male employees.
Laura will put off making an overdue eye-doctor appointment because her insurance has been slashed to pay for that small island in the tropics that Billy saw in an issue of Rich Men’s Health and just had to have. She will show up for a mandatory all-hands meeting called by Nikki, only to learn that she’s not in charge anymore and, oh by the way, the date has been changed. To last week.
Laura will be forced to ask the big questions, like “Why were my expenses rejected when all I bought was a pencil?” even though she knows the reason is that Devon is paying big bucks to a graphic designer to chop Chancellor off of the Chancellor-Winters sign. She’ll ponder whether anyone will ever remember that she was promised a promotion to Underling No. 72 amid the excitement of Abby having “earned” a vice-presidency through her hard work of… showing up for board meetings.
Laura would speak for all of us who have ever felt like a boss would remain out of touch even if we were holding their freaking hand. It would be fun. It would be real. And it would deliver actual consequences for the actions of Genoa City’s power brokers beyond their endless grumbles about how no, they don’t have enough money and influence, because there’s no such thing as too much!
Victor’s Light-Bulb Moment
And just wait for the moment that The Young and the Restless shows its bigwigs the error of their ways. It’s the company picnic. Laura is there with her son, Timmy. Victor takes one look at the kid’s teeth and recoils. “This child needs an orthodontist,” he barks. “Ya got that?”
“I do, sir. I got that,” Laura replies. “But our dental plan doesn’t cover braces since the budget cuts that were made to cover the costs of sending a small army to rescue your kidnapped grandson. I’ve also been trimming his hair myself since Nick allocated extra funds to the Give Sally a New Company fund. Gee, it’s a shame that didn’t work out for her. But hey, we’ve gotten used to having canned corn for dinner every night since the company paid Kyle and Audra such well-deserved Glissade signing bonuses.
“It’s not every day,” she adds, “that you get a chance to hire not only your archenemy’s son but also the woman with whom he cheated on your granddaughter.”
Would Victor change his ways? Would Abby suddenly comprehend that her every career change has had a trickle-down effect on each junior exec and bellboy and waitress whose name she never knew to forget? Would Nick consider fielding ideas from people with whom he hasn’t had sex? We’d love to find out right along with Laura.
